Friday, September 06, 2013

how to do fash-un month (at home).......

Fashion month kicked off with New York Fashion Week last night, (I live on the other side of the world so it was night time for me), and I'm quite clearly not there. And I won't be at London. Or at Milan. Or at Paris.


Couple that with the plethora of 'How to survive fashion week' tweets, emails, posts and general social media madness and you have one serious case of FOMO.

So what does a fashion obsessive harbouring an unhealthy predilection for parades of garments that sit comfortably outside the bank balance and tinglings of a sartorially induced sadness actually do during the month that determines the future?!?

Yes, what does a fringe dwelling wannabe do while the cool kids hang out together at shows and parties and just generally be, you know, cool?

Uh, pretend?

Like any good wannabe, I’ve a vivid imagination. So here are some fun ways to pretend you’re at NYFW.........

1) Dress up like you're going to a show. Natalie Massenet implored London to do it, but I say let's kick it off with New York. Channel the likes of ADR, TTH and MR (acronyms are the new black) and rock high waist anything, print on print, denim, some serious neck candy and long long legs capped off with ridiculous, but very pretty, shoes. Take photos.

2) What is Fashion Week without a few fancy soirees. So throw yourself an exclusive fash-un party. Dress a bunch of mannequins up in killer threads (if they resemble certain streetysle stars who will remain nameless that is perfectly ok) and wedge champagne glasses in their hands, or perhaps more accurately for New York - a juice. Take photos. And then drink all the champagne/juice.

3) Tweet and Facebook and Instagram random images of New York, with obscure text. Interspersed with your previously taken photos from your show look and party. #fromwhereistand #ootd #fashionparty

4) Follow that social media onslaught with some so on trend tweets and updates. Cause we all know if we didn’t post it, it never happened.

Example 1) Proenza Schouler has done it again! #nwfw

Example 2) Ugh! Anna and Grace in the front row, so rad. #nyfw

Example 3) Seriously if the @Sartorialist shoots me one more time...... #nyfw

Of course substituting the respective cities in for New York where appropriate. Wow! I'm exhausted, and I haven't even left my house.  

Truthfully, real talk now. While that all sounds like an excellent way/s to spend the month, it also sounds like a lot of work. And I already have, like, a day job guys.

So instead I’m going to do what I do every other time Fashion Month rolls around and I still don’t have a plane ticket and a hotel reservation. I’m going to stalk and Vogue like it’s my profession. I'm going to collate posts on my favourites looks, on the runway and off. I'm going to wonder at how human-like all those peacocks look. And I'm going to hope like hell Suzy Menkes writes another punchy piece so we've all got something to talk about until next Fashion Month.