Tuesday, March 11, 2014

approaching limerence.......

How long is too long to harbour a crush of the sartorial kind?

That is a real question, not the traditional rhetorical ones I usually throw around. I’d really like to know. Is there a timeframe? Should you move on after a set number of weeks or months or years has expired? What’s the etiquette here?

I’ve been holding a candle for a certain something for a certain time and I’m just not sure if I should continue the charade or except that we will never be together, mourn the loss and move on. Throw my unwavering adoration towards something else, probably equally unattainable, but something else nonetheless. 

In the interests of answering my own questions (a kind of hobby of mine) I googled, like all good questions answerers, and discovered there is actually a science behind crushes and even a word for a crush that doesn’t go away and is not reciprocated - limerence, in case you were wondering. 

According to the scientists, the symptoms of infatuation are a lot like those of mental illness and our brain chemistry when under the spell of the crush is comparable to that of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Things are weirdly starting to fall into place right now. 

Like going back to the same store, website, instagram account that you first spotted your favourite on repeatedly, just to check up on it. Which is strange when it’s a human - and also called stalking - and stranger still when it’s an inanimate object. 

Or like obsessively searching for said item in a bid to either a) actually find it available somewhere or b) find it in some magical 95% off sale which brings it fractionally closer to meeting your budgetary demands. 

We are, alas, powerless to stop the affects of the crush rampaging with our heads, and also our hearts. It’s out of our hands. Our obsessive, ridiculous, weird, creepy and often sad behaviour is completely out of our control. So we should just give ourselves up to the crush, let those good time chemicals flood our brains and enjoy the benefits. 

For up to two years anyway. 

After that, things get bad real quick. That’s where that limerence comes in. I’m getting real close to limerence, I think it’s time to let go. Nobody like a crazy woman possessed with uncontrollable thoughts and shortness of breath over a pair of shoes. Right?

kb xx