Have you ever started something without really knowing where you were headed?
Recently, it occurred to me that that's kind of how I operate. I dive in head first and cross all my fingers and toes (not really - I can't cross my toes) hoping that I'll come up for air at some point. The same point at which the way forward will (hopefully) be clear. Inevitably, I do break the surface and gasp for air but it's not necessarily clear; often it's just as fuzzy as when I dived in.
For a long time that fuzziness bothered me. Mostly because it's so easy to compare yourself to other people through the wonder that is social media and the internet and it always seemed like everyone else had their shit sorted. Of course, as a general rule, they don't. And neither do I.
When I started this blog I'm not exactly sure what I had in mind. Inspired by the various fashion blogs I was reading, some of which I still drop by, I figured it was a good opportunity to merge my two great loves: words and fashion. It has sort of moved along, perhaps limped is a better word, for a couple of years and to be honest I've spent most of this year experimenting with the format and wondering what I can do with it. Because, the idea of being a fashion blogger is less and less appealing to me. Or perhaps more accurately, the idea that by calling myself a fashion blogger I limit what this space is for is less and less appealing.
Right now if you stick your head into the fashion blogging world it is a cacophony of voices. It's often overwhelming and sometimes difficult to sustain your own voice amongst the noise. Don't get me wrong, many voices and lots of thoughts are great and wonderful and something I wholeheartedly support - but there is a sense of consumerism and materialism that underscores some notions of fashion blogging that increasingly sit uneasily with me. Plus, there are a great many things I like to ponder and discuss and debate and with such a specific focus those things get lost.
So, what am I saying? I'm saying the experiments will continue. I'm saying this space is not reserved for sartorial discussions only. I'm saying things might get a little strange, because I'm a little strange and this is my space so I can be a little strange here.
I'm saying sometimes life opens a big door and you'd be mad not to jump right through, head first and worry about the fuzziness later.